Life comes and goes and we barely see it happening. Sometimes though, you realize the stage of life in which you exist. Mine is Life Stage 3.5.
Sunday, July 13, 2003
Have you ever seen a bird struggling to fly against the wind? The bird seems to hover high in the air despite the fact that it flaps its wings. I can relate to those birds. I feel like I'm flying against the wind most every day. I say this sort of tounge in cheek. Life really isnt THAT hard but I do feel like I struggle with things that others dont even have to think twice about, like changing jobs. Why is that such a struggle for me? I feel this deep guilt for even thinking about finding a new job as if I am unreplaceable at my current place of employment (and clearly I am not).
For some birds (and people for that matter - got to keep stringing this analogy along) I think life comes easy. There is no wind against which to fly. These birds (or people, keep following me here) are the types who always have the wind behind them, pushing them along. They manage to get further with just a few short flaps of the wings than that poor bird flying against the wind gets, flapping its wings the whole day long. When I think about it, though, I've had it pretty easy too. Maybe I'm just lazy is all. Maybe I just dont like confrontation. (I know, I'm an attorney... the irony is not lost on me).
Speaking of which, I dont like calling myself a "lawyer." I much prefer to call myself an "attorney." I think I dont like the word "lawyer" because it sounds much too much like the word "liar." If you say it right, 'liar' sounds exactly like 'lawyer.' A thought I'm not comfortable with... a thought you shouldnt be comfortable with either.
For some birds (and people for that matter - got to keep stringing this analogy along) I think life comes easy. There is no wind against which to fly. These birds (or people, keep following me here) are the types who always have the wind behind them, pushing them along. They manage to get further with just a few short flaps of the wings than that poor bird flying against the wind gets, flapping its wings the whole day long. When I think about it, though, I've had it pretty easy too. Maybe I'm just lazy is all. Maybe I just dont like confrontation. (I know, I'm an attorney... the irony is not lost on me).
Speaking of which, I dont like calling myself a "lawyer." I much prefer to call myself an "attorney." I think I dont like the word "lawyer" because it sounds much too much like the word "liar." If you say it right, 'liar' sounds exactly like 'lawyer.' A thought I'm not comfortable with... a thought you shouldnt be comfortable with either.
Sunday, July 06, 2003
Perhaps you are wondering why I've named my blogspot "LifeStage 3.5." I draw a parallel between the way companies name new versions of the same software programs (with major changes shifting the whole number, e.g., 1 to 2 to 3, and minor changes shifting the versions in the tenth of a number, e.g., 1.0 to 1.1 to 1.2.) and stages people go through in their lives. We all go through phases in our lives during which we change and develop to become more complete individuals. Our experiences move us from one stage to the next. Some of these shifts are big, some more minor, but all are important and all help to define who we are.
I think I am in LifeStage 3.5. Of course, I don’t know how many life stages there are. I have experienced but a few! Without wanting to define each stage and mini-stage, let it suffice to say that I am now squarely an adult, with a young career as an attorney. At this point, I am still not comfortable calling myself a professional. In fact, I feel silly announcing that I am an attorney. I always think, “how presumptuous of me.” I guess I still can’t see myself as an actual adult, a fully contributing member of society with responsibilities and a steady, although meager, income.
Adulthood seems to have popped out of nowhere. Along with adulthood has come a whole series of issues for me. Ok, I admit it. I worry. I fear what I cannot control. Yep. I’m one of those. Part of my effort in writing this blog is to try to be cognizant of my life’s path so that I may better understand where I am with the hope that this will lead me to be more at peace with myself and my future.
To say I’m on a “path” may be bold too. Path, really, what does that mean? To say I’m on a ‘path’ makes it sound as though I have some destination in mind. Not so much. In reality its more like I am stumbling along some road that might or might not be a path, just trying to remember to drop breadcrumbs so that I can make my way back if I need to.
I think I am in LifeStage 3.5. Of course, I don’t know how many life stages there are. I have experienced but a few! Without wanting to define each stage and mini-stage, let it suffice to say that I am now squarely an adult, with a young career as an attorney. At this point, I am still not comfortable calling myself a professional. In fact, I feel silly announcing that I am an attorney. I always think, “how presumptuous of me.” I guess I still can’t see myself as an actual adult, a fully contributing member of society with responsibilities and a steady, although meager, income.
Adulthood seems to have popped out of nowhere. Along with adulthood has come a whole series of issues for me. Ok, I admit it. I worry. I fear what I cannot control. Yep. I’m one of those. Part of my effort in writing this blog is to try to be cognizant of my life’s path so that I may better understand where I am with the hope that this will lead me to be more at peace with myself and my future.
To say I’m on a “path” may be bold too. Path, really, what does that mean? To say I’m on a ‘path’ makes it sound as though I have some destination in mind. Not so much. In reality its more like I am stumbling along some road that might or might not be a path, just trying to remember to drop breadcrumbs so that I can make my way back if I need to.
